Let me first begin by stating that the following is my personal opinion of myself. I have no doubt that I will exaggerate my personality in a sad attempt to make myself seem more decent. It is a concept known in psychology as, self presentation. The concept states that we do everything in our power, to present ourselves as competent individuals. So it might seem as if I am doing a bit of the self promoting, so don’t mind me.
I guess I should start with the positive nonverbal gestures. When I’m sitting I always in a position that I find very comfortable: the slouch. I know that people that slouch tend to be a bit more laid back and nonchalant, then their upright sitting counterparts and I feel that this effects my approachability. I think that since people see that I have a naturally laid back sitting style, that I must be a nice laid back person, which I truly am. I’m very, very laid back. I don’t like to stress about life (even though I really do at times) because my philosophy is that everything passes.
Also I never walk with, what I like to call, and arrogant air. I really dislike people that are arrogant; I can’t stand them. When I walk (which is almost everyday), I never walk with my head in the air. You know like those really pretentious people that believe that they are better than the whole world? I usually just cruise at a slow pace (except when I’m running to class) with a modest stride.
I think I can attribute my “cheerfulness” to my smile. I smile a lot. I’m told by my professors, and by all those around me, that I’m always smiling. This also goes hand in hand with my friendliness. I am an extremely friendly person. I love talking to all people and just having a good amount of friends, and I think that’s all my smile’s fault. When you see someone smiling, you can pretty much feel that said person is nice. At least in my book. I consider people that smile a lot to be friendly and I think most would agree with me. I also think that through the clothing I wear I affect people’s opinion of me without saying a word.
I dress in a very different manner. I believe that my clothes reflect who I am on the inside. I wear formal shirts, oxford shoes, wingtips, ties, blazers. I never, ever wear t-shirts, and almost all of my clothing is colorful. I think this sends across the message that I’m serious, and that I’m a no humbug guy. But then since I use colorful clothes, I think that is tells people that I can be bold as well. I do know for a fact that this is what people think when they see me, for I have been told so on many occasions. But then most people also get the wrong message and think that my use of stylish clothes means I’m pretentious, which I’m not.
Now for my abnormal habits. Going back to when I sit down; I may have a laid back style of sitting but I really don’t like getting close to people. I always sit a bit further away from people than normal people. I was talking with my friend, and she actually brought this to my attention. She thought I for a while that I didn’t like her, and that’s why I sat so far away from her. She is a really good friend, and I talk to her all the time, but I just can’t sit next to her, or anyone really. I also hate hugs and every time I’m offered one, I always do that awkward pat on the back hug. I think this creates distance between my friends. I have explained these problems to my closer friends and they have accepted them, but some people just don’t understand. Plus I have this habit, that my dad taught me.
My dad is not a very trusting guy. He does not trust people too often and I guess he rubbed his paranoia off on me. He taught me that I should always be in control of my environment. Okay, sure I can’t make people sit where I would like them to sit or be for that matter, but I can get a bit of control by at least knowing what is going on around me. So he always taught me that I should glance around my environment for any potential “threats” so to speak. That I should know who and what is around me, and what people are doing. He also taught me to sit with my back against walls and away from windows and places that offer cover and a good view of the area, but that’s a separate issue. I think this tells the people around me either that I’m not paying attention to them, that I’m a very nervous, paranoid individual, or just really rude. I have been called out on this several times and I know it’s bad but it has been hardwired into my brain, and there is nothing I can do about it.
So I guess I have a few (more like a lot) of non-verbal gestures that I project to people. I have a few that are normal, and I guess you can call some that are abnormal. I guess I can describe my “vibes” as warm, nonchalant, friendly, and just overall cheerful. But then again, I do have moments where I’m awkward, distant, and untrusting.
